|
Presbyopic Mossback?
Here’s one from and old issue of Thunder Press (the latest issue has
been thoroughly gone through several times by now) that really steamed
my ass... sorry, didn’t mean to paint that visual for ya... from one
of their advertisers pushing some kind of digital instrument displays
for Dressers. Near the end it some marketing whiz kid (and I used
the term whiz on purpose) they add: "If you’re the average dresser
rider – which is to say, a presbyopic mossback..." then goes on to
tell me why I need their product.
Now, wait a minute, sonny. I realize I’ve been riding since before
you were a potential wet spot on the sheets, and likely have more
miles on two wheels in one year than you and your crotch rocket have
in your lifetime, but is that any way to cozy up to a potential
customer?
First of all, I had to find my reading glasses and look up what the
hell presbyopic meant. It had something to do with focus problems due
to advancing age. At least I think that’s what it said ... that small
print was pretty fuzzy. OK, so maybe I’ll have to give you the
eyesight thing, but isn't that kinda like advertising incontinent
undergarments by saying, “For you old guys who pee in your pants
uncontrollably”? Boy, I sure wanna run out to the Safeway and buy
that product, huh?
And calling me a Mossback? Do you know what Webster has to say about
that? Ignoring the references to sluggish fish or algae-covered turtles,
I find: “An extremely conservative or old-fashioned person. A
veteran partisan; one who is so conservative in opinion that he may
be likened to a stone or old tree covered with moss."
Besides having
expressed relief when GW finally raised his hand in his oath of office,
and still willing to hold the door for the ladies, I’ll point out
that it says ‘old-fashioned person’…not old person! I am a veteran
and I do have a flag on my dresser, yeah… so what’s your point?
Might do ya good to remember that us old mossbacks are growing in
number – just look at the percentages at any rally nowadays. We can
fit more beer in the saddlebag – on ice mind you – and the chicks
dig not having to hold on for dear life. We got room for the bigger
tent, queen-size air mattress included, and the big bottle of baby oil
(see reference to chicks above).
Anyway, now that I have my glasses on and can actually see their
instrument panels in their ad… maybe I could use some of those
digital displays on the scooter. Do you guys have one that tells me
when my next dose of laxative will be?
Just my opinion…
- Muthuh
Best regards ......
 For Information, contact: Muthuh@Muthuh.com
|
During a recent renovation of our master bathroom (it doesn’t really
qualify as a MASTER bathroom, but it sure sounds magnificent doesn’t
it?) we installed a built-in magazine rack next to the toilet...
big mistake! Well, I suppose for the biker magazine I'm reading and
it’s advertisers, it’s a Godsend. Now, day after day, and with
undivided attention, I page through their magazine looking for little
articles and ads I hadn’t covered during my last visit to the throne.
Problem is, I find little things now that I feel a need to respond to.